When confronted with conflict, many individuals in custody do not consider the perspective and experiences of the other person(s) involved. Consequently, they may be prone to anger outburst and engage in verbal or physical altercations. When, on the other hand, they practice empathy by placing themselves in the shoes of the other person(s) to see the issue from their perspective, they can soften their anger, leading to fewer conflicts and improved relationships.

In this lesson, Wendy is struggling to make ends meet while her boyfriend, David, is in jail. She is feeling angry and overwhelmed and lets this out on David when he calls her. Instead of thinking about the reasons that could explain her anger, David feels mistreated and becomes infuriated. No longer thinking clearly, he directs his rage towards the staff, resulting in his placement in the segregation unit. Because he doesn’t notify Wendy of this move, she comes to visit him on the wrong day/time, further exacerbating their strained relationship.

Like Wendy, Ana is facing many challenges managing her household by herself. She, too, goes off on her boyfriend, Michael. However, Michael responds differently, pausing to reflect on Ana’s situation. Understanding her stress, he validates Ana’s feelings and offers a genuine apology for not being there to help out. Michael’s acknowledgement and apology ease the tension, and a few days later, Ana comes to visit him.

In short, the purpose of this chapter is the following: